As you know, the Gentleman Farmer and I participated in what the Danes are widely recognized for…their relationship to enjoying life, coziness, family time, and relaxation. Our home was transformed into the daily burning of candles, warmth, and smell goods – partly because we had three additional dogs in the house. I enjoyed learning more about how the Danes achieve a sense of coziness with their décor, their food options, and the time spent in warm settings. It is something the GF and I can and will (hopefully) continue to incorporate in our future.

This month we have focused on traditions. I am unsure of if we have any holiday traditions from our separate families that we would like to incorporate into our deepening bond – I certainly hope so. My family celebrated Christmas, but only from when I was young and then when we had younger cousins over for a holiday. My grandmother and grandfather put up Christmas trees from the beginning of my memory, but not in my household. My mom has said having a tree in the house is Paganistic. So I don’t have to have a tree. But I would like to do something now that will last throughout our lives. Last Christmas the GF and I created Christmas ornaments, and we placed them on this North Island Pine that died shortly after the holiday season. We also made Oreo truffles that we gave away as gifts. As of right now, I believe the Oreo truffles will be a mainstay. It’s up in the air about the ornaments.

I am looking forward to determining what we want to stand the test of time. I am a firm believer in having a strong foundation so that when we have tough times – because we all know those moments will arrive – we will have the strength to maintain. For example, we watched Spike Lee’s She’s Gotta Have It over Thanksgiving. I have never seen the movie before, but I did know that there is a new Netflix show by the same name and I was excited to see it. It was such a GOOD movie and show! I do not directly identify with Miss Nola Darling, but I do feel similar to her as she seeks ownership over her relationships, her work, and her body. She did what she wanted when she wanted. She was vocal about her wants and needs, and she did not allow others to jeopardize that. And that is all because she had a strong foundation in people – her parents – pouring into who she was.

I believe this is why I appreciate the fact we are doing the tradition challenge last. We have gone through almost an entire year of monthly challenges, and we have met some additional character development issues we didn’t plan for. I know I always think highly of myself – who doesn’t – but I am also a reflective person. I want him to hear me. I want him to see me. I want the Gentleman Farmer to treat me as an individual with thoughts, feelings, and opinions. The GF and I have had to think separately, and collectively, about what our relationship will be and should represent. Having different biases, backgrounds, and experiences all play a role in how I see things versus how he does.  I am not always right, and he indeed is not wrong. However, my entire goal since the inception of this relationship is to be with him, to love him deeply and to be his safe space in the world, as I wish the same from him. We have to figure out how to move in this world together continuously and to be on each other’s team. I am all for him – I have always been about him, and I am still about him – and if my actions don’t show that then I am aware of those small issues needing to change before they become insurmountable deal breakers.

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