How does one be married? I found out this month as part of my reading list Ms.Coco gave me. I also gave her a book to read that I hoped would help her but I’ll let her tell you about that.
I have a growing number of books that have been recommended to me this year Ms.Coco is the main contributor. I love this idea of sharing books with each other, and it feels like we are learning a growing together.
I’m going to summarize some of the favorite parts of this book.
While JO Piazza is in Mexico, she talks about how everyone has dangerous expectations for what being married will be. These expectations can lead us to frustration and failure in our relationships.
A great exercise Piazza recommended is the five minutes of uninterrupted talking each day. Ms.Coco and I did try this for a while, and I think it’s something we do naturally anyway.
The France chapter was another one that spoke to me. The idea that American men are afraid of American women is a concern that has come up over and over again recently. The idea that women should talk to men about what turns them on and makes them happy is an important one. Usually, I think the answer will be we want to make out women happy, but women should drill deeper into our desires. The French understand the idea that both partners need to put in work to stay desirable to each other, be a wife and his mistress.
The idea that it takes work to maintain love and desire long term is scary. We think it should be something that just happens. It’s hard to avoid nagging, fighting, picking on small things, getting bored, and complaining. We spend so much time now on our Ipads, Laptops, and smartphones sharing all our uplifting and inspiring moments, sometimes we forget to share those moments with the people close to us that matter.
But to quote Mariane French women Jo interviewed.
“Sex heals all wounds.” I would take it a step further and say “Good sex transcends all problems.”