In my last post I stated an exercise I wanted to incorporate into the Gentleman Farmer’s daily routine. We talk for five minutes uninterrupted about whatever is on our minds. Oftentimes we do this without having an actual timer. I think it’s pretty easy but sometimes the GF has trouble filling up his time. I chalk this up to men using less words to describe what’s important to them. However, we’ve done this for two weeks without missing a day. I think this definitely helps us to connect in ways we may not be aware. Case in point; the GF and I were working on what the Gottman Institute calls “love maps.” This love map is a series of questions that allows partners to see/realize where their partners are emotionally. One question asked was describe your partner’s day in great detail. We knew that about each other because we discussed our day hours before during our five minute exercise. We realize our stressors, cares, concerns, and accomplishments in those 10 minutes on a daily basis.
Another update: salsa. Like the Gentlenan Farmer and I both stated, we’ve had a great time dancing. I more so have learned how my dancing impacts my partner’s thoughts and feelings about our relationship. I always think I have the best intentions and am displaying them in ways he can understand. However, that isn’t the case. We both have learned that we have to do more, be more, and act more in ways that we both understand to have a solid relationship. This came from our salsa classes! I’m staring my babe in the eyes, smiling and wishing he’d look back at me while he’s learning new steps and is concerned with leading us to be the best dancers we can possibly be. We are both learning to dance with each other but also I want to have the most fun with the person I’m with while doing justice to this very cultural dance. Whew! That’s hard sometimes. Emotions are high and the pressure is on! Haha. I want to be seen as the person I see myself as….including being a beautiful dancer. We’ll get there yet. We went to a dance showcase of other students from the Salsa Center. They did an amazing job and I see us up there soon! Why not?!?!
Our trip to Cuba is next week! I’m excited to spend time with my sister and her boyfriend, two of my friends, and, of course, the Gentleman Farmer. The beach is my happy place and I hope we will have many sunny days ahead with lots of learning about the culture and people of Cuba. I imagine us dancing in the streets, going to the market, sunbathing, museums, food, and lots of fun!