I am a thoughtful person, for good or for worse. I know that may get me in trouble sometimes…as some songs say, I overthink. However, we all do that sometimes. And since the Gentleman Farmer and I started this project six months ago – WOW – I think it’s a good time to do so. I spoke a little about this last month when we were determining our rituals, traditions, and special moments. So let’s get into what I have learned since starting this with my honey.
I have always known I can be stubborn. I like to get my way when I want it. I do not like when people tell me no, especially when it’s my man (and he rarely tells me no…but it still gives me a little pang in my heart). However, I have realized that this feeling is also something I see in the GF. If he asks me something, I attempt to do it when he asks. If he does not do the same, I am VERY impatient! In my mind, I am thinking of all of the requests he gives on a daily basis – which is many- and how quickly I respond. I also reflect on the years growing up with my mother. If she asked for something, she expected a response immediately. This trait apparently has been passed down to more than my household.
I also have realized no matter how well I believe the GF and me communicate, we sometimes are on opposite sides, and I have to be humble enough to fix the problem. Or at least begin to repair the issue. I shut down when there are problems most times. I do not want to say anything I will regret. I also need to gather thoughts. But at that moment my feelings are HURT! Within our relationship, I cannot shut down. And I won’t do that to him. He worries when I am not speaking to him, and I would never want to give him the thought that what is wrong is irreparable. Even when we are arguing – we have had a few of those – I still have to show him love in the way he receives it. For him, his love language is physical touch. He likes to hold my hand, touch my hair, or give me kisses when (I think) he thinks I am upset. At that moment the last thing I want to do is hold his hand, but I do because I still love him and I want to show him love always. I hope he does the same for me when he is upset. I need him to talk to me, listen to my concerns, and tell me what is going on since my love language is quality time.
One last thing I have realized over and over again is that the Gentleman Farmer loves me and will do anything to protect me, make me happy, and keep me safe. I adore him for all he is, pleasant or trying. We have done many things in the last year that have strengthened our love for each other, that have tested each other’s nerves, and that have affirmed – for me, at least – that he is the man I will love until the end of time. Of course, we have to decide on what our next steps in life are. Where will we live is something we’ve been contemplating for the last month or so. How will we keep our joint spaces neat enough that we won’t be irritated? How should our meals be prepared and seasoned (that’s all ME)? Where will our future children go to school (if our blessing is to have any)? Where will we feed Bates when we’re in other peoples’ homes? These are all questions that came up the past couple of months. We will get answers to them all. He gets All That I Got.
This month’s challenge is to create something together. Our first project is a menu board – I am always thinking of food. It will say “Taste and see that the Lord is good.” Psalms 34:8. We’ll see how this turns out!